It is easy to fall into self pity when things are hard and you aren’t receiving affimation. It seems to happen a lot in the work scene. It could go like this. You are an exceptional worker. You have the resume to back up your wonderful skills and work. After working for months and proving yourself worthy, you expect some sort of affirmation. You get that in the form of keeping your job because you passed the traditional 90-day probation period. Woohoo, you feel appreciated. So you continue working. Things seem normal, you work hard and do your share. Months go by and you are still working hard and showing yourself worthy the be praised. And then things get a little tough. you may get a new boss, new project, or new equipment. Anything can cause a change in your work atmosphere. People get busy and wrapped up in their own projects and daily duties. Come on, you know you do. After a while you begin to feel the tiresome, repeatitve routine set in. This is when self pity can also set in. You feel like you are doing a wonderful job, but no one appreciates it. They are all wrapped up in themselves. They can’t see past it. So you begin to feel sorry for yourself. Bitter feelings may start to rise and plant in your heart. Now, every action is full of resentment. “They are selfish people. Can’t she do it herself? I mean it is part of her job. I can’t be doing her work for her. Geez, what does she think I am? Her slave???”
Oh I see this happening in my mind.
I felt like that for a while. Work was hard and HUGE projects were being pushed on to me, with a ridiculous deadline, too! They thought I knew how to do it all. I had to poke around and figure out on my own. what happened to TRAINING?? I was getting more upset as the days passed. But I couldn’t tell my boss how I was feeling!! That is out of the question. i mean what if she laughed at me or didn’t believe me??? I couldn’t be rejected. So I kept my mouth shut and kept working.
I thought I was the victum. And in someways I was. But i was playing the part up instead of trying to solve it. I was wallowing in my self pity. I now had a reason to dislike work and complain about it. but i was slapped in the face by my mother’s words. “You can’t not tell them your feelings and expect them to know about it and fix it. They can’t read your mind.” AWWWWWWW. I had a part to play………. I couldn’t blame it all on them. That struck my self pity, and pride, right in the heart.
I never ended up saying anything. But I did end the pity party; it was getting lonely. And things got better because my attitude was better. I couldn’t let my heart rot because of the way I perceived a situation. And in the process, they began to show and tell how much they appreciated me. That also helped me in changing my attitude. But it won’t happen all the time. You have to decide to make a change whether or not they change. Taking that mindset is maturity playing out in your life. People aren’t going to be perfect and I haven’t met one who can read minds.
LESSON 1: Communicate your feelings before they begin to fester in an open wound.
LESSON 2: Be mature and be the first to make a change.
. And then, even said I could leave early and clock it as a full day! I ended up staying longer, but that was good. I was lingering because I almost didn’t want to leave. My boss gave me a bonus. A HUGE BONUS. I was totally blown away!!!!!!!!!! I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I was speechless. They also said if I come back early or even after the full year, I would still have a job with them. 
