My worst fear came true!!! I had believed for a period of time that certain people avoided me. Or that they had better people to hang out with. That they didn’t want to hang out with me because I wasn’t good enough. I felt like they were striving for better and I wasn’t considered better. It reinforced my fear or rejection and unworthiness. But it is a bunch of bologna****
For some time I had believed this. I perceived every action to be another stab at my heart (when i know they were totally oblivious). But God was really speaking to me. For too long I had lived in that mindset. I believed everyone should magically know how I felt and what they were doing was hurting me. But life doesn’t work that way. We have to communicate. So God speaks in his amazing ways and tells me to trust him. “Even if they are doing it on purpose, will you trust me?” “Do you love me and trust that I love you unconditionally?” I heard these things and sunk. They were truth. I was letting others define me. I cared about what others thought of me more than i cared what Jesus thought of me (which is so much more INCREDIBLE than any opinion of man, no offense to anyone). So God helped me let it go and trust that he had the best in mind.
I was believing lies, and I had to face them right in the face. Every time I thought about them, I had to combat them with scripture. “I am the daughter of the King of Kings. He loves me with an everlasting love. Through Christ I am acceptable to the beloved and he bestowed grace upon me. Praise be to the Lord of hosts.” It wasn’t always easy; I failed many times, believing the same old lies. I still sometimes forget my identity in Christ.
Ok so then, what I was thinking really was true. Some people did not want to hang with me. But regardless, through it all, God changed my heart. Even what the enemy tried to use to take me out, didn’t work. I have victory in Christ. It blows my mind to think that it was actually true because most of the time, we perceive things WAY wrong.
THANK YOU JESUS FOR PROTECTING ME!!!!!!!!
I still love these people. I could never push them away. They are placed by God in my life. 
