I landed safely in Miami on Monday around 6 pm. We then arrived back in Phoenix on tuesday around 1pm. so i am officially back from Peru.
IT WAS AMAZING. I don’t know if I can descirbe it in words…
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… on another grand adventure. This time I am headed to Peru. I’ll be gone for two weeks.
PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY. Can I ask enough?
Love ya’ll,
Allison
I am loved T H I S much!!!
I recieve love in different ways. But each way is important.
I just finished my last week at work. I am leaving for Peru in less than 12 hours and then heading to Texas for a year long internship. So I said goodbye to my work family. It was hard to say goodbye. For months leading up to my last day, all my co-workers pestered me not to leave. They even told me that I wasn’t leaving. I laughed nervously every time and said, “yeah, I am leaving. Sorry.” HAHA ( I would laugh sheepishly). It is hard to say goodbye.
But in all of this I saw just how much they all loved me. On my last day, we celebrated with a lunch. They treated me 
. And then, even said I could leave early and clock it as a full day! I ended up staying longer, but that was good. I was lingering because I almost didn’t want to leave. My boss gave me a bonus. A HUGE BONUS. I was totally blown away!!!!!!!!!! I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I was speechless. They also said if I come back early or even after the full year, I would still have a job with them.
This is the favor of GOD!!!! All I can say is that I am blessed beyond words. And this is all because of the faovr of the Lord on my life. Thank you Jesus for a new life in you, a fuller, richer, blessed life in YOU! All glory and honor to the Lord, Jesus Christ. I am nothing without him. THANK YOU!!!
It is easy to fall into self pity when things are hard and you aren’t receiving affimation. It seems to happen a lot in the work scene. It could go like this. You are an exceptional worker. You have the resume to back up your wonderful skills and work. After working for months and proving yourself worthy, you expect some sort of affirmation. You get that in the form of keeping your job because you passed the traditional 90-day probation period. Woohoo, you feel appreciated. So you continue working. Things seem normal, you work hard and do your share. Months go by and you are still working hard and showing yourself worthy the be praised. And then things get a little tough. you may get a new boss, new project, or new equipment. Anything can cause a change in your work atmosphere. People get busy and wrapped up in their own projects and daily duties. Come on, you know you do. After a while you begin to feel the tiresome, repeatitve routine set in. This is when self pity can also set in. You feel like you are doing a wonderful job, but no one appreciates it. They are all wrapped up in themselves. They can’t see past it. So you begin to feel sorry for yourself. Bitter feelings may start to rise and plant in your heart. Now, every action is full of resentment. “They are selfish people. Can’t she do it herself? I mean it is part of her job. I can’t be doing her work for her. Geez, what does she think I am? Her slave???”
Oh I see this happening in my mind.
I felt like that for a while. Work was hard and HUGE projects were being pushed on to me, with a ridiculous deadline, too! They thought I knew how to do it all. I had to poke around and figure out on my own. what happened to TRAINING?? I was getting more upset as the days passed. But I couldn’t tell my boss how I was feeling!! That is out of the question. i mean what if she laughed at me or didn’t believe me??? I couldn’t be rejected. So I kept my mouth shut and kept working.
I thought I was the victum. And in someways I was. But i was playing the part up instead of trying to solve it. I was wallowing in my self pity. I now had a reason to dislike work and complain about it. but i was slapped in the face by my mother’s words. “You can’t not tell them your feelings and expect them to know about it and fix it. They can’t read your mind.” AWWWWWWW. I had a part to play………. I couldn’t blame it all on them. That struck my self pity, and pride, right in the heart.
I never ended up saying anything. But I did end the pity party; it was getting lonely. And things got better because my attitude was better. I couldn’t let my heart rot because of the way I perceived a situation. And in the process, they began to show and tell how much they appreciated me. That also helped me in changing my attitude. But it won’t happen all the time. You have to decide to make a change whether or not they change. Taking that mindset is maturity playing out in your life. People aren’t going to be perfect and I haven’t met one who can read minds.
LESSON 1: Communicate your feelings before they begin to fester in an open wound.
LESSON 2: Be mature and be the first to make a change.
My granny passed away May 15, 2008.
The monday before she died, I reflected on what I had learned from her. I reflected on who she was, what did she teach and lead and be an example of. I was fortunate to live with her for the previous nine or so months. I never really knew who my granny was before I moved in. I knew of her, but i didn’t know her. Yo se mi abuela pero mi no conozco ella. I learned in Spanish that you can know of someone, saber, but you can know a person deeper, conocer. So in the nine months I began to know my granny. I asked her about her life and watched her life it out. So on the monday before she passed, not knowing her departure was only days away, I wrote her a letter. i never got to read it to her, but…. I did get to read her the bible and read her a poem about the Maker (God) fashioning us to be the most beautiful creation. That was the last thing I was privileged to read to her. So her is the letter I wrote to her.
Granny,
In your time of need you gave me hope. You gave me 9 months of pleasure while I was fortune to live with you. I loved your gentleness and sweetness. You were always kind and just wanted to look after the jewels God placed in your life. I love your devotion to Jesus. It was inspiring to know a relationship with Jesus can indeed last an entire lifetime. God is faithful and creates us to be faithful to him and others as we grow closer to him.
Even though there were hard times adjusting to living with someone different, I wouldn’t say any moment was regrettable. I have gotten to know beyond the label “Granny.” Before I only knew you as Granny. You were the one who always gave us kisses on holidays and money on our birthdays. You always prayed Jesus over the grandkids. But now, you are still those things, but also much more. You are quiet, proper and reserved: a true lady. You are a treasure box, full of precious jewels and a treasure yourself. I learned a lot from you while living with you. You have compassion on others. You never degrade or put down, for that would not line up with the Word of God. You had moments of despair, but don’t we all. In your battle for your health, it helped me strengthen my faith. For when you were down and out, I would see your need and think of the better time. My spirit would quicken and God’s word would rise up. No, you are healed and whole, made whole by the same spirit that raised Christ from the dead. As I would see you quote scripture, it would quicken me to as well. Scripture is our tool to fight. So by your example, we fought together. And when spirits were low in both of us, your many disciples you trained and poured into over the years came to our rescue. Your years of sowing seed and praying has not gone unanswered. They have just been flourishing all these years waiting for them to be the ripest and most beautiful.
Love,
Allie
(P.S. I wasn’t finished writing about you)
“God, I pray, light these idle sticks of my life and may I burn up for Thee. Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life, but a full one like yours, Lord Jesus.”
–Jim Elliot
i am all up in the air. there are so many things going on in my head. I am not sure how to handle all of them. I am so glad school is done for the semester. that is one less pressure and responsibility on my shoulders. But i feel like as one was removed two more were added. Or maybe the new one feels heavier.
As i have stood by my granny, it has been difficult but encouraging in mysterious ways. I read her the scriptures to encourage her and keep her spirits high. For a broken body can press on with high spirits but with broken spirit who can continue on? So I read her the scriptures when I can. it has encouraged me so much. By reading to her I have increased my faith. For faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. I am delighted by it. In mysterious ways I am stronger. yet i don’t feel it yet. I do not know where to turn.
And then my heart is turning. I love her so much. I want to see her raised and healed, completely whole. yet the time has to come at some point. i don’t know when God will take her home, only he knows. Give us all peace father. You are so faithful to not only make her ready, but also to prepare us who are waiting and watching and living on. And then there are other matters of the heart which turn me in circles. I cannot say them for they would bring no good to publish online for just anyone to read about.
My life is not an open book in some respects. But then again, it is. I am coming to know myself a little bit better everyday by the grace of God.
This summer I am going to Peru for a two week mission trip.
But i need to raise the funds to go. So i started my support letters in February and finished sometime in mid March. I realize it took me way to long to write them. Not bad timing if I had sent them out right after I finished writing them. Then i had to create a recipient list. That took 5 minutes, but I didn’t write that until later. And now May 9 (last night) I finalized the list with addresses and all. So I was ready to package and mail. But Lucky me, my computer and printer begin to mess with me.
At my new job, i am learning all these cool tricks with Word and excel and other programs. i thought I would try one of them out with my recipient list and envelopes. My plan was to mail merge my address list with a template of an envelope in word. It worked all fine for the standard envelopes. I hit print and bang…. My computer starts freaking out, skipping on downloaded music and freezing up. then my printer starts jerking and stopping. i can’t believe it. When I tried to close a few programs on my computer, it didn’t respond. So my printer is working on printing out the envelope addresses. It stops 2/3 into the list. So i try to print where it left off but it won’t let me do that. So i create a new file of what i need. YAY. it finally works all the way through, after an hour of fiddling. Then i try to create another template of the smaller envelopes. That wasn’t as easy. It didn’t work quite right. But i fiddled some more and got it to work. but it would only print one at a time. Then i would have to hit print like 30 times for it to print the number of copies i wanted. AWWWWW. I am now about 3 hours into the task. I just want it to print and be done. then my printer decides it doesn’t recognize my computer, or maybe it was vice versa. My computer didn’t want to recognize that the printer was plugged in. arggggggggg. After some more fiddling and fiddling, i got it to work. It slowly printed all the envelopes i needed, but not with out jerking and uncertanity if it would continue. then I just had to white out a date on 50 letters and rewrite the correct date of when 1/2 payment is due. I did that and signed all the letters. then i addressed the letters to the person and packaged all the items into the envelope to be mailed. At the very end i realized i was a few small envelopes short, so i hand wrote them so i didn’t have to deal with my printer again. Finally at 11pm I finished all my letters. they were addressed and stamped and all ready to go to the post office. But the post office isn’t open and i didn’t think it was a great idea to go alone at 11:30 at night.
In the process of being frustrated and almost screaming my aunt walks into to find out what I am doing. I tell her and she looks around at my tornado-hit room. She asks me why I didn’t make labels? I don’t know. Why didn’t you print these at work? I don’t know. You are goof. She walks away and I laugh at myself. I am a goof. i think i did everything the hard way.
And when i think about all the people I am sending them to, i don’t think i included everyone I wanted to. I might have to do this again….. But the next time, i will use my brain.
What will I do with myself? School is out for the summer, thank God!! (no, it truly thank him ) But this now means I will not have a daily routine. Except I will be working 8 hour days. Grace me to work at my job. Patience and peace and a Backbone.
I am already missing all my friends who went back home. I want them all to stay in AZ. I will just have to press through and continue to fellowship and have community with those who are here. I am so thankful for every single person I have gotten to know this year. God placed me here to meet you. Every person has poured out life in to me. I learned and grew so much because of the amazing friendships that were created. God knew exactly what I needed; I needed you to push me further, test my patience, love and faithfulness meters. (Knock knock, you might have a broken one, or you are completely lacking love here.) Oh the joys of receiving a spanking. (I though those were done when I reached puberty). anywho… the friendships I made this year were good.
Renee- Thank you for being the sweetest, most thoughtful woman of God I have met thus far. Your love for others, your servant hood, shines so bright. I love you!
Nettie- I met you and knew we would be best friends. We are so alike in many ways. I love that you are sensible and smart and you love Jesus . thank you for being my voice of reason so many times. I love you!
Jenni- WOW! You are one ball of fire waiting to be used by God. I love your intensity and passion for Jesus. There is no one else like you. And i absolutely love that. I love you!
Krystle- You are a Jesus friend. That is a good thing. You have such a spunk in you that sets people free. Your realness and unashamedness is exactly what I needed. Thank you for hearing the voice of God and being obedient. I love you!
Candace- Girl, you are amazing. You bring light to my day and always a smile. Thank you for striving to show the love of Jesus in everything you put your hand to. And God made you in such an intricate way, molding you with love, compassion, intelligence and spunk. I love you!
Dahvede- Thank you for being a true gentlemen and big brother. I admire you for following the path God has placed you on. I love that you are who you are without shame. Keep bringing the word of God.
Hallie- I miss you like crazy. Thank you for seeking me out, for i was lost and lonely. You are spunky and crazy but founded in Christ. Thank you for pouring your time into me, you have made a lasting impact. You will receive a reward in heaven for all the people I touch for God because you had a hand in changing/touching my life.
I am not sure if half of these people read this blog. There are many more who are on my heart, who have touched me this year. Maggie, Timmie, Hollyann, Candi, Eric, James, Katie, Emilie, Amy, Justin, Ephrem, Emily, Rae, Candice, Molly, Rachel, Angela, Shawn… the list goes on. If you were involved in Chi Alpha, you probably made a difference in my life.
But the BEST is yet to come. So yes!!! All y’all will play an even greater role. The best is yet to come. Praise Jesus!!
Have you ever felt the heaviness of God? Like you can feel him right next to you, on top of you, all around you? His presence takes your breath away. It is so beautiful….
Sometime I try to be selfish, or whatever you want to call it, and make it stay forever or come when i want it. But God comes on his own terms and his perfect timing.
I have been learning to just sit in God’s sweet presence. Let it envelope you; take in all in. Let the Lord lavish his sweet, endless love on you. Oh how I love what he does. He speaks a whisper, a word of truth. It resonates within me. So much is forgotten when I am in his presence. the past is forgetton, the wounds are healed, fears silenced, passions ignited, love captivated, swept off my feet. God and me, together, are the only things that matter.
