so sad… turned good March 27, 2008

I just wrote an amazing piece on my spanish life, but my internet connected failed right as I was saving it. And yeah, it didn’t save it. Maybe I’ll recap it later, but more on other things now.

Today was a day of reflection. i thought about what Ladies Night Out meant to me. What did God speak to me through it. What can I take away from it that will forever change the way I live? I just sat and thought about all these things. I prayed about them because something I just don’t know. But I do know LNO blessed me in many ways. I am still chewing on some of the meat God tossed my way.

LNO showed me how much God loves his ladies. I read Jenni’s blog about all the women in the bible whom Jesus had compassion and love for. It blew me away and opened my eyes even more to how much I am loved by God. whew, think I might have a teary moment… LNO gave me an example big brothers. They love; they protect; they cherish; they motivate to move on; they encourage; They offer friendship, companionship; they offer laughter; they offer love; they bring Jesus to us. Growing up I never experience the positive friendship of a brother. My brother was absent emotionally and verbally abusive to everyone, especially me. All I wanted was for him to love me and be the big brother. I wanted to hang with him, play with him, be protected by him. But I only got pushed away. It hurt, but God heals and heals some more when it hurts again. I love my brother with everything I can. I want to see him become the Man of God he is destined to be. i want to see him step into the role of being a positive leader and role model. I still want him to be the “big brother” he is meant to be.

But my Chi Alpha brothers are here for me. They showed their willingness to be there. They hearts and true desires for us women were revealed. I truly felt loved by all of them (even though i didn’t know some of their names).

God is beginning some serious mending in my broken heart. I can trust again to depend on my brothers because I know, with all my heart, that they will be there in time of need. And not in time of need. And if they fail, I can be lead to Jesus, who will never let me down.

I’ll have to organize my thoughts a little better and post more on what God revealed to me at Ladies Night Out.

Oh and its not a so sad title anymore because i looked up and saw that my draft of my spanish thoughts did save before the internet died. So it is good. And the title can be taken as once my life and outlook on brother was “so sad”, it is now turning for the good. )